This week has been full of sports and self reflection. This weeks update wont be super interesting but I did want to stay consistant to my goal of posting once a week and since Wednesday came and went, and then Thursday also skipped on by, I’m posting 2 days late with something that doesn’t seem to want to flow right out. Maybe It’s because I feel like this week has been replayed in my life a hundred times and that it would be boring from a readers perspective, or maybe it’s just that I’m still struggling with my own thoughts and putting them into action that I feel silly continuing to revisit the same topics but here goes anyway.
This past weekend I was able to attend my daughters Volleyball tournament. This covid thing has made it hard for more than a few parents to attend so I felt very blessed to be able to be in attendance. I love watching sports and seeing my kids ( and those that I’ve coached over the years) learn and grow and become better players and team mates. I love sports photography and while I’m still learning a lot about it, it is something that I really enjoy. My daughters team is a little rough around the edges from a skill level stand point but I don’t know that you will find a better group of girls who encourages each other and is kind. I think that sometimes in sports these days, there is an idea that you can not be both kind and competitive. This mentality makes me sad and honestly has left a pretty sour taste in my mouth. Team sports have become a ever man for them self kind of thing and making the team better as a whole if your numbers aren’t highlighted seems to be unworthy of players time. Coaches seem to reward the one man show mentality and it makes me wonder what we are actually teaching these athletes. However, this group of girls, at this level, and at this age, are doing a great job of trying to lift each other to make the team better and it was nice to watch.
4 more basketball games this last week and all of those questions I mentioned above about what are we doing, just pounded in my head. So much potential to build something great or to destroy self esteem and drive.
Sunday as a family we discussed the many ways that Satan tries to destroy us. I know without a doubt that Satan loves to get under my skin in several ways but one reoccurring theme is through self doubt. This constant battle of “am I doing anything worthwhile?”, “Would it even make one bit of difference to the world if I had never been born?” and “what mark am I leaving?” replay in my mind far too often. I’ve battled depression and when those questions arise during those times, it’s hard to move. It’s hard to find a reason to get out of bed. However, currently I am not in that dark fog but the questions still hit. This week more than many it got me asking myself, “what am I doing to make sure that others know that they are making a difference?” Who have I complimented or thanked for how they have impacted my life, in big or small ways?” And the answer is that I’m not doing super awesome at it. I try but I could definitely do better. If Satan is using our self doubt to drag us down, than surely our loving Heavenly Father would want is to know all the amazing things we are doing that lift others and help out.
I know that being thanked is often uncomfortable for some of us but I think we need to hear it more. I know that most of us if not all, struggle at times with not feeling like we are doing enough, and yet I would argue that there are those around us who are eternally grateful for the small things we have done. So, to sum it up, this week I want to be better at letting people know that I appreciate them. I want to thank the store clerk for smiling instead of looking down the whole time. I want to acknowledge that my husband doesn’t have to hold every door for me but he does to show me love. I want the people around me to know that my world would be different with out them and that I am glad they were born and placed here in my life now. I encourage you to do the same. Its hard to know when someone might need to hear that they matter but we can make it a habit of just letting people know on the regular.
