So much is on my heart and mind lately. I go back and forth on which direction I will choose to take. One day I say, “ I’m so over all the drama I will only post things that are happy and have nothing to do with anything that is debatable”. The next day I’m so heartbroken for our country and for people that I am about to burst and fear that I really might just explode if I don’t speak up for what I believe. I would assume most of the country can relate to those feelings. Today is a “I might explode” day and so rather than heading to facebook to post an all too lengthy status update, I will voice my feelings here. If you care to, feel free to comment your feelings below. I think that we all need a healthy place to let it all out sometimes. I only ask that you are kind and respectful.
As a photographer one of the most important things is to find the light. Lighting is everything! I mean it can make or break an images. I don’t know that I am an expert at this exactly but I do know that over the years what went from something that i paid little attention to…”ohhh, I love that tree with that fountain in the background, lets shoot there”, has turned into…” that sun is so harsh over by the fountain lets go to the sidewalk to get the soft reflection from it” I know it might sound silly to people who don’t think like that, it sounded silly to me before I tried it and got in the habit of looking for better light. Honestly, I would take great light in a hideous place over terrible light in the most beautiful place any day. As a portrait photographer this is fairly easy to control since you have a say in where to shoot, you can find the light. As a landscape photographer, also not horrible you just have to plan for the right time of day. As a wildlife photographer it is a constant challenge but who doesn’t love a good challenge. And then there are day when you just have to add some light, borrow it from something else if you will.
The photograph above was a last minute, don’t talk yourself out of it because you wont find the time again, attempt to capture something to submit to a monthly photography themed challenge. We started too late, the drive too longer than I had planned and the light was leaving way too fast. Normally I will go scout a location, find where the light will be hitting at the time we plan to be there and have it all mapped out. This time we were just going to wing it. With light being so crucial I knew I was in trouble, but tried to do the best I could. The results out of camera were not super awesome as you can see. I NEEEDDDD my light!
That brings me to what’e been on my heart. Some days, finding the light in this day to day drama is hard. No, I’m not talking about the sun or the shade of a tree anymore. I’m talking about the light that good people shine on the rest of us, the light we have inside each of us to shine and share with others. I don’t want to sound like a hopeless soul, because I’m not. However, this can be a dark and ugly world at times and social media is great at pointing that out. We are great at joining in the name calling or stone throwing. Once in a while though, I see a post where someone is just being kind, where people from different back grounds are embracing and smiling. Once in awhile I see people listening to each other and responding with a different view but with kindness.
I have toiled with the idea of leaving social media all together because it can be quiet depressing at times. Then the thought hits me, but if everyone who wanted change and light left, would things get better? I don’t want to be part of the drama but I also don’t think hiding away from the drama makes the world a better place.
All of this got me thinking about our sweet kiddos and some scriptures in the Book of Mormon that we have been reading. Now, this might be a stretch and I’m not one to claim to understand much about scriptures but here goes. We have been reading about this group called the stripling warriors. This was a group of young boys, who agreed to go out and fight for their freedoms but more importantly to me, fight with their friends who had been fighting to protect themselves and also these stripling warriors and their families. The saw the suffering and hardships this other group had been going through to protect them and wanted to do their part and share the burden. For those of you who may not know the story, this group of young men had fathers and their fathers had been some very wicked murderous people at one time in their lives. The had them become followers of Christ and at that point had made a promise to never pick up weapons against another person again. The fathers had stayed true to their promise and to what they believed was best for them so they didn’t fall back into habits that had brought them unhappiness. So, when these sons decided they wanted to fight, I imagine that the were met with some resistance. However, I also imagine they were brave and kind and respectful in their request to their families that they had not made the promise of their fathers and that the were ready to lift their neighbors and friends in defending their families and freedoms.
What does all that have to do with our kids? Or light for that matter? Well to be 100% real, I hate masks. Most of you know that. I have done my best to not wear one, I have spoken in support of those how have fought against them. That hasn’t changed. I was seriously wanting to keep my kids home this year and go the virtual or home school route. I wont lie there are still days I wonder if I made the right choice by letting them attend school. At my house we let them all choose. They know how I feel, I know how they feel. They all chose to attend public school. I shed many tears over that chose ( much like I would imagine the Stripling warriors mothers and fathers did in the beginning). Today though, as I dropped my kids off, I couldn’t help but see a light. A light that I was not looking for before maybe. I saw kids who were brave and kind and respectful. The were at school with their friends wearing masks because they had a battle that they were ready to fight. To me the masks are like weapons that had been buried in the ground because they are a danger to society. To these kids though they seemed like a weapon that they will gladly pick up in order to be out there on the battle grounds making sure that there is a tomorrow and a next year for themselves and for their kids. I was also in tears today but today they were the tears of a proud mother (much like the mothers of those Stripling Warriors I’m sure). My kids are brave and strong and resilient and obedient. I don’t believe it is a blind obedience, I believe they have the light of goodness in them and that they can see a greater purpose and are willing to do what it takes to be on that battlefield not hiding away or shutting doors because its too dark and ugly outside.
The picture below was with the help of borrowed light. I’m still not in love with the image, but I’m satisfied enough to submit it to the group challenge and call it a wrap. There will be days we just don’t have enough light, and we will need to borrow some. I’m learning to accept that and also understand the importance of keeping my light charged up so that I am ready and willing to give some of mine out to whom ever needs it…even if we don’t agree on everything.
Light makes all the difference in the world, let yours shine. You will not always be able to control a situation to find the best light, in those circumstances maybe you need to be the light. Rise up to the challenge, step away from the ugly and dark attacks. Lift and encourage others. Agree to disagree and look for things that you can agree on. Lift others and shine on!
